When I look back since last entry,
it has been a good summer,
much better than I had thought it could be.
Often I really felt fine after a day without pain,
just the poor - very poor - results of my actions
proofed that I was far from what I had been once.
And I still am far away, just have to accept and let go.
I cannot even get the most simply works done,
need - not hours, oh no - days or weeks
to get some tasks done.
It must be a good moment to start,
brain without fog AND body without pain.
And these golden moments don't happen too often.
It is a great challenge to handle this,
stop justifying, stop comparing and feeling low.
Especially when I get told I am looking good
and feel I am expected to deliver more than I actually do.
A human being should not been measured
by the actions or results only.
This cannot be the goal of our life.
There must be something beyond.
I am looking in a different way now at people
who obviously seem to have problems
managing their daily life.
They are not necessarily lazy or stupid.
Who knows their handicaps? Who knows if they even know...
Pushing myself too much causes stress.
Stress causes pain and I will end up on couch
with a foggy brain, aching joints and burning skin.
It happened to me in september:
Just a call of a family member, just some bad words.
This was the start of a chain of painful reactions
together with a severe cold I happened to catch right then.
When I found back into my shoes finally
weeks have gone. Just a simple telephone call with bad news...
I remember I did not even dare to accept any call for some time.
It helped. Now I am smiling again and next time I will be able
to say NO in time to any stress other people would lay on me.
it has been a good summer,
much better than I had thought it could be.
Often I really felt fine after a day without pain,
just the poor - very poor - results of my actions
proofed that I was far from what I had been once.
And I still am far away, just have to accept and let go.
I cannot even get the most simply works done,
need - not hours, oh no - days or weeks
to get some tasks done.
It must be a good moment to start,
brain without fog AND body without pain.
And these golden moments don't happen too often.
It is a great challenge to handle this,
stop justifying, stop comparing and feeling low.
Especially when I get told I am looking good
and feel I am expected to deliver more than I actually do.
A human being should not been measured
by the actions or results only.
This cannot be the goal of our life.
There must be something beyond.
I am looking in a different way now at people
who obviously seem to have problems
managing their daily life.
They are not necessarily lazy or stupid.
Who knows their handicaps? Who knows if they even know...
Pushing myself too much causes stress.
Stress causes pain and I will end up on couch
with a foggy brain, aching joints and burning skin.
It happened to me in september:
Just a call of a family member, just some bad words.
This was the start of a chain of painful reactions
together with a severe cold I happened to catch right then.
When I found back into my shoes finally
weeks have gone. Just a simple telephone call with bad news...
I remember I did not even dare to accept any call for some time.
It helped. Now I am smiling again and next time I will be able
to say NO in time to any stress other people would lay on me.
