About stress, e-smog and how borrelias love it

I am happy that I am still part of the working world. 

Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday 

I put my pains and trouble at side 

and throw myself into my job's tasks. 

This keeps me off thinking and feeling 

and checking and evaluating 

what's going on in my body and mind as to Lyme.

Fine! ... but.... stress becomes a problem more and more, 

and I feel stressed fast. 

What might have caused me a laugh at 30 years, 

have been a challenge at 40 years, 

has become an enormous attack on my body and mind nowadays. 

Hypersensible to e-smog (an office full of electric and electronic stuff) too, 

I feel my skills fading like snow in spring. 

One day work and I am done for the next. 

Thinking... God, let me retire as soon as possible. 

After a stressless weekend... I am motivated and really want to go on working.

An endless up and down. 

Yes, like a dance. 

Just have not yet found out the diverse rhythms. 

One for sure is work on/work off.

Bioresonance

I had another appointment for bioresonance treatment
after a break since early December 2011.
Well I felt scared because symptoms seem to proceed
although last bioresonance showed me off living borrelias.

So this time just some living borrelias was found in my brain
which means to me, regular biroresonance treatments 
may keep reproduction and flooding under control.


So my disfunctions and pains are caused by damages
already happened in the past
and they may hopefully fade or at least not get worse.

From tears to smile

I seldom have a headache but today I felt bad with bang head and a light virtigo. It was going for migraine and on my way home from office I had tears running down my cheeks. Not just because of pain, not really - but because of general weakness, general bad feeling. I did not even know exactly why tears were falling. Was like an all over resignation.

Anyway, that little pain killer did its job (I really try to avoid meds, this time I allowed myself to take one pill as this would be better than crash with a sick headache for 24 hours). Now I am back on line, on life - smiling. Off pain.

See, those Borrelias are dancing with me. Sometimes changing within a few hours. I should not forget this when it comes to pain next time.

Better dance than fight - so let's bolero

Doing my usual hot - hot! - shower to relieve pain and feel free, with the water stream new thoughts and ideas seem to stream into me too. So this is what I got today:

To fight against someone/something, you need to have the will, to be strong enough and to know much about the enemy. Many believe that life itself means fighting against all odds. Even birth can be a fight, not to talk about the end of life. Is it what I was looking for?  

What is the message of my lyme disease? I do not know enough about them borrelias, I have no chance to kill them all, I am not strong enough for it - not physically nor in my mind. So the message to me is... if I cannot fight I need to look for co-operation. Dance with them if you cannot kill them. I will try to learn more about them and listen.

My very first blog, let's see...

Since I have found out that it is Lyme Neuroborreliosa my life has changed. I wonder how much it has changed - as nothing happened but the fact that all my temporary symptoms have a common title now. I am still the same but I am scared now and I realize that I cannot stop thinking nor talking of it, and that might be annoying to my family and friends.

For this reason I am looking for a space to talk, to release and of course to listen. Maybe there is somebody knowing how I may feel, knowing about a life with pain and fatigue. Not always like that, but often and switching from moment to moment.

Let's see... what blogging can do? (It is my very first blog, lol)